For years I've said, "Strong men call strong women strong. Weak men call strong women bitches."

Further, strong men are attracted to strong women, are happy for their successes, and her confidence only enhances his own. Strong men are strengthened by strong women. Thus, strong men want women to be strong because strong men like being strong men and strong women only help them be stronger. See how that works?

So, why do weak men call women bitches?

Weak men are threatened by a woman's power. Weak men are intimidated by women, though they would never admit it, and thus they need to demean, control and try to keep them down so they can feel strong in comparison. Weak men don't have a sense of internal control, so they have to control things and people externally.

And sadly, this can go much farther than just calling her a bitch. I used to work in a domestic violence treatment program where I treated both perpetrators and victims.
I've too often seen the tragic results of "men" controlling, abusing, beating, sexually violating, molesting and raping girls and women. I've unfortunately seen so much of what is shown here in the Power and Control Wheel that follows.

Recently, I shared the above Equality Wheel, the opposite of the Power and Controk Wheel, with a client who is in a violent relationship and she looked at me with mocking skepticism, "You're really trying to tell me this type of relationship really exists? C'mon, that's a fairy tale." Sad, right? Sad that her experience with men, up to this point, was that being treated right was a fairy tale. I told her, "No. This is no fairy tale or unobtainable holy grail of a relationship. This is basic. This is not a high level relationship. This is entry level basic. This is how healthy men and women expect to relate on a daily basis as normal." She really didn't believe me. Sad. But she will. I'm pretty good at helping women wake up to their powerful true selves... one of the best parts of my job to see a woman come into herself.

Strong men are attracted to strong women

I was raised to respect women. I was raised to treat them right. I was raised by a strong woman. My sister is a strong woman. My wife is a strong woman. My girls are strong young women. I want my boys to find and eventually marry strong women. My clients are strong women—though sadly some of them have been beat down for so long they don't know they are... yet....

I saw my step-dad love and serve my mother who was chronically ill. I saw him cook and clean. I saw him romance her. I saw him stay up with her night after night and pray for her for hours on end. I saw him weep for her pain. She was the most attractive women I knew in every sense of the word (beautiful, smart, compassionate, kind, loving, funny, sweet, spiritual). And boy! Did she sure love him! And to see him treat the woman I so dearly loved taught me, "Oh, that's what a man does."

And now, as a man, that's what I do. I define myself as a man based in large part on how I treat women. In fact, men, I also define (and, yes, judge) you on how you treat women. I've seen a lot of really physically strong manly men demean and abuse and control their girlfriends and wives. These guys, in my book, should not be called men. They are the weakest, most frightened, pathetic, insecure and sad human beings there are. The term "man" should not be applied to them. A real man is strong (of mind and character more than physical strength) and confident and protective and humble and kind and willing to serve. A real man is proud of his woman and she is proud of her man.

So I've thrown down the gauntlet to all men as to what it means to be a real man. If it comes to a manly pissing contet here's how it plays out: tough guy, you may be able to kick my butt, but you can't beat my relationship. When it comes to measures of success, look at my marriage, look at yours. Who's the strongest now, punk? And for all the real men out there, my peers, my teammates, you know those pretend "men" don't hold a candle to us.

In my book, the only time it's okay to call a female a bitch is if she's a canine. Well, with this one exception: A client told me years ago that she was indeed a B.I.T.C.H: a Babe In Total Control of Herself. I do like that definition of bitch... But, still guys, don't call women bitches. And women, don't put up with any weak, punk-ass excuse of a "man" who does.