"Good enough" is Both Good and Enough

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"Good enough" is Both Good and Enough

Please, (PLEASE!) banish the comparison/"not good enough trap". For too many people "good enough" is settling because they didn't achieve perfection or excellence in X thing/endeavor/aspect of life. 

People (maybe even you) are constantly living in mortal fear that they have not reached the "standard" of how they "should" be, that they have, or will, "screw it all up" and ultimately fail... 

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7 Red Lines: The Importance of Having a Realistic Approach to Change

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7 Red Lines: The Importance of Having a Realistic Approach to Change

People come wanting a solution to a train wreck of a marriage: Save our marriage and transform it into a truly GREAT relationship. "Certainly. That's what I'm here for and I love to help people do... Let's get cracking...". And then they proceed to tell me how it should be constructed based on myths, what they heard, opinions and preferences that are contrary to how healthy relationships actually function; in what ridiculously short time frame it should occur; with minimal to no actual study, practice and effort on their part because  "really it shouldn't be this hard" nor "take this long." And then if they don't accomplish their goals in those parameters they quit therapy saying, "Well, we tried. Counseling just doesn't work." And they stay discouraged and stuck. 

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Guest Blogger: Katrina Wride VanWagenen on "Managing Stress by Mindfully Owning Your AWESOMENESS"

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Guest Blogger: Katrina Wride VanWagenen on "Managing Stress by Mindfully Owning Your AWESOMENESS"

Sharing your experiences of trials, pain, acceptance, and endurance that shows me who you are. Keep on going, brighten your day and someone else's. Make a go to list of things that make you awesome, and things that bring a smile to your face when life seems a tad overwhelming, or hugely overwhelming.

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A Circle Is a Nice Thing to Have

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A Circle Is a Nice Thing to Have

I doodle and sketch to entertain myself and my children. It actually helps me pay attention. Doodling can do that for ADHD folks like me. Many things are "just because." Like how a circle is just a nice thing to have. Let me explain...

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Stress-Busting Tip: Use the Biology of Touch

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The biology of touch is simply this: hugging, hand holding, encouraging hand on arm or shoulder, or a simple neck or back rub decreases cortisol (the stress hormone), increases oxytocin (the "cuddle" hormone that increases bonding) which both result in lowered blood pressure.

The biology is there within us to manage stress. Let's use it, touch (human and yes, canine as in the picture above, too), frequently to help ourselves and others.

Thus, the important interplay of relationships, emotions and biology. Relationships are the key to so many aspects. It is in relationships that our emotions are challenged the most and thus we get the opportunity because of those challenges to develop emotion regulation and mastery skills. As we improve our ability to manage our emotions in our relationships we decrease the impact of stress on our bodies. Thus, the finding that people in long-term healthy marriages live on average seven years longer than their single or divorced counterparts. Less stress equals less wear and tear on our cells the emotional flood of cortisol and adrenaline isn't as frequent nor as long-lasting. Less wear and tear = longer life. Further the oxytocin and endorphins that healthy relating release further ease stress and buffer our emotions from additional stress = longer life.


— For more tips, strategies and resources for creating truly GREAT relationships with self and others visit http://JonathanSherman.net —

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Busting Holiday Stress

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It's the most wonderful time of the year! And it can be the most stressful.

In 2004, The American Psychological Association conducted a holiday stress survey and identified the top six stressors as follows:

1. Money
2. Gift-giving
3. Lack of time
4. Families
5. Diet
6. Children’s issues

This guide addresses each of these stressors in depth, as well as many others, with a focus on providing many more solutions than there are problems. That’s the way it should be.

This guide covers hundreds of ways to bust, cool, chill, deal and cope with all the various stresses of the holidays.

Here's what you'll get:

  • Hundreds and hundreds of practical, useful and effective stress-busting tips, strategies, mindsets, and techniques for dealing with every aspect of holiday stress.
  • Worksheets to help you put the concepts into action.
  • The 30-Day Stress Tracker and the 31-60-Day "Overlearning!" Stress-Tracker

Pick yours up today at bardos.net/HolidayStressBusters

Just take a peek at the Table of Contents:

INTRODUCTION

  • THE HOLIDAYS ARE NOT THE SAME FOR EVERYONE
  • STRESS 101
  • SIGNS & SYMPTOMS OF STRESS
  • ASSESS YOUR STRESS

WELL-BEING: PHYSICAL, EMOTIONAL, & MENTAL STRESS-BUSTERS

  • PHYSICAL HEALTH STRESS-BUSTERS
  • SIMPLE PHYSICAL & MENTAL WORKOUTS WORK
  • RELAXATION & MINDFULNESS
  • STRESS-BUSTING ATTITUDES & MINDSETS
  • MOOD STRESS-BUSTERS
  • MENTAL ILLNESS STRESS BUSTERS
  • GET HELP WHEN YOU NEED IT

RELATIONSHIP & FAMILY STRESS-BUSTERS

  • RELATIONSHIP & FAMILY CONFLICT STRESS-BUSTERS
  • BUSTING STRESS WITH THE CHILDREN
  • CONNECTING WITH YOUR KIDS OVER THE HOLIDAYS
  • SEPARATION & DIVORCE STRESS-BUSTERS
  • STEP-FAMILY STRESS-BUSTERS
  • BEREAVEMENT & GRIEVING OVER THE HOLIDAYS
  • MOURNING THE LOSS OF THE PAST YEAR
  • LONELINESS & ISOLATION STRESS-BUSTERS
  • USING SOCIAL SUPPORTS AS STRESS-BUSTERS

TIME & MONEY STRESS-BUSTERS

  • FINANCIAL STRESS-BUSTERS
  • TIME PRESSURE STRESS-BUSTERS
  • GIFT-GIVING STRESS-BUSTERS
  • SHOPPING STRESS-BUSTERS
  • HOLIDAY MEAL STRESS-BUSTERS

ADDITIONAL STRESS-BUSTERS

  • COUNTER COMMERCIALISM
  • EXAMINE YOUR TRADITIONS
  • TRAVELING STRESS-BUSTERS
  • SOME ADDITIONAL STRESS BUSTERS
  • DO ONE THING DIFFERENT
  • HOLIDAY STRESS-BUSTING RESOURCE GUIDE
  • SHARE YOUR STRESS BUSTING TIPS!

Pick yours up today at bardos.net/HolidayStressBusters


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