Strategies and mindsets for developing Marriage Mastery, Parent Training, and Self-Mastery.
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This car ad is touting quiet, non-interactive children as a primary benefit of a car with built-in wifi. Now bear in mind I'm a big tech fan and readily welcome advances. However, I'd rather hear my child in her boredom come up with something imaginative like "I'm jumping on a chocolate chip trampoline" than have them plugged in and tuned out.
Read MoreSadly, too many children lack this, and it affects them profoundly. Please tell your children often that you love them and give them specifics as to why. They hang on to it years later in ways you may never know. There as some key loving things that my mother said to me as a child and teenager that have shaped the person I am today.
Read MoreI was outside today working on the car when my wife drove up returning from running errands. She got out and disbelievingly asked me, "Did you really say that?!" "Say what?" She then showed me my 16-year-old daughter's tweet:
Read MoreI was outside today working on the car when my wife drove up returning from running errands. She got out and disbelievingly asked me, "Did you really say that?!" "Say what?" She then showed me my 16-year-old daughter's tweet:
My daughty then Tweeted, "I shouldn't be laughing cause everyone is ticked but that was really funny."
I'm normally a bit more composed so I think my wife was somewhat impressed.
Rewind. So here's what happened: I had just got on the younger kids a few times about their chores. "Just get it done and quit complaining!" There. I thought I had it all taken care of and I could take a relaxing shower as they completed said tasks. Silly me. Just a few moments after getting in I hear one of them yelling and bossing the other around. And I'm thinking and fuming, "Sheesh! Really?! C'mon! You've got to be kidding!" Yet there I am stuck in the shower with no re-course... I can't do anything about it now and I don't want to get out to deal with it—I just got in, for Pete's sake! There was nothing in that moment as a parent that I could do. Or so I thought.
And thus the tweet.
As a parent trainer I preach the importance of not making empty threats you're not willing to enforce. However, that was one threat I knew I wouldn't have to carry out. I think the shock and horror of the imagined potential of what could happen was more than enough to get them hustling.
Fast forward. My tweeting daughter later came out while I was working on the car. I asked her to come over and talk to me. She smiled, put her head down sheepishly and backed away. I laughed and said, "Yeah, mom showed me your tweet. What I want to know was as a parent did I go up in your estimation or down?" "Hmmm... I don't know... It was just really funny... and disturbing." I told her I figured she'd probably need a few sessions of therapy to deal with the trauma of that image emblazoned upon her mind.
So that folks is the expert parent trainer at his finest. I hope you were taking notes.
—SHARE YOUR AMUSING "PROUD" PARENTING MOMENTS BELOW—
NEW VID in the Parenting Interview Series 5 of 8 A series of eight video parenting Q&A's with Ben Anderson, Interim President of UHEA, and myself that we did in preparation for the 2013 Utah Home Education Association (UHEA) Conference this June 14-15 where I'll be presenting the following three workshops:
You don't have to be a home-schooler to benefit from these workshops—and you can't beat the price—only $35/individual, $45/couple for a two-day conference! Register here.
1. Appreciating a Strong-Willed Child
2. How Do I Know If I'm Being a Good Parent?
3. How Do You Create and Sustain a Healthy Family Culture?
4. How Do I Overcome Self-Doubt as a Parent?
5. DEEP Listening and Creating an "OUR WAY" Plan
COMING SOON!
6. Adapting Your Teaching to Your Children's Needs
7. Creating Habits of Family Unity
8. Creating a Family Culture of Appreciation
Vids 5-8 will be posted every few days prior to the conference. Stay tuned.
Sunday afternoon the question was asked, "Are we doing anything?" Rather than letting the moment pass and all the kids scurry off to their own isolating activities I said, "I'm going to make a paper mache helmet. Who wants to join me?" Most scurried off, but I started my preparations anyway knowing that I would likely entice a kiddo or two once they saw what was going on. It worked! I snagged Molly and she made a cute mouse and I made an elephant. We had no idea what we were going to make until we started. Most importantly we had a great time together.
Read MoreEmotion regulation doesn't need to be a "high level" concept. It's as simple and basic as understanding how to operate any other mechanical device—which, kids by the way, excel at. So teach them how to operate their own bio-machinery they live in each and every day. Of course, it helps the teaching if we as the adults actually model it for them... The good news is the above graphic/concept is so simple kids can totally get it.
I was fortunate enough to be able to teach Utah's Divorce Parenting classes for 11 years and to be a family therapist for 18 years now. The research from my profession is undoubtably valuable, but the best teachers I've ever had have been all the wonderful parents and children who've simply gone through divorce and step-family transitions. It ain't no easy task! Those who've been through it can empathize and clearly know what they are talking about having been "in the trenches" themselves. I did, too, when I was six and the aftermath went on for years (Hmmm... I wonder why I became a marriage and family therapist....?). From both my profession's research and from the hundreds of families I've worked with I've written these articles.
Read MoreI often remind people to be careful when seeking my advice and counsel: "Do you want the answer you want to hear or that is easiest to hear or do you want the answer you need to hear even if it's hard to hear?" For example, on one daddy daughter date last year with my teen girl I asked her, "How am I doing as a dad? What can I do better or differently to help you?" The answer I got really surprised me.
Read MoreWhat is a Hookey Date? Well, hookey, of course, is the old term for ditching school. So Hookey Dates are where from 8 am to 3 pm I and one of my children completely blow off work and school. Each child gets to do this with dad one time each school year.
Read MoreThe commandment to "Honor thy father and mother" is easy and a joy to do when you have loving and honorable parents that you take pride in. However, what about when your parent(s) lack honor?
Read MoreBefore you do either, get training. Training in how to effectively discipline the dog or the children to either (hopefully) prevent such incidents and/or to effectively manage these incidents without killing anyone. I do Parent Training. It's formal, systematic and customized. Best of all it's effective. It's based in the best evidence-based practices and real life "in the trenches" experience.
Read MoreCreating GREATness in Relationships™ through 1. Marriage Mastery, 2. Parent Training, and 3. Self-Mastery.
Sign up for the building strong families masterclass & book!
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