Strategies and mindsets for developing Marriage Mastery, Parent Training, and Self-Mastery.
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Your children know YOU and need YOU. There is no other for them that could ever take YOUR place. Thank you, moms, everywhere. You do a lot and I want you to know: you do, and ARE, enough.
Read MoreIf you know me you know I love making big deals out of things. Why not create a memorable moment? Why not go the extra mile to make someone feel extra special? So, of course, as the romantic sap I am I love to see these over-the-top proposals. My only counsel to this, and any couple, is ...
Read MorePlease, (PLEASE!) banish the comparison/"not good enough trap". For too many people "good enough" is settling because they didn't achieve perfection or excellence in X thing/endeavor/aspect of life.
People (maybe even you) are constantly living in mortal fear that they have not reached the "standard" of how they "should" be, that they have, or will, "screw it all up" and ultimately fail...
Read MoreA fun little experiment that actually demonstrates some positive relationship lessons.
Read MoreI am walking behind a young lady who is wasted and can't walk without help by her date. They are very young. Obviously underage but out of high school they are headed to their room. This guy is getting all sorts of high fives from his friends on his way to the elevator and reminders to use protection while this date can't stand up straight...
Read MoreFor years I've said, "Strong men call strong women strong. Weak men call strong women bitches."
Further, strong men are attracted to strong women, are happy for their successes, and her confidence only enhances his own. Strong men are strengthened by strong women. Thus, strong men want women to be strong because strong men like being strong men and strong women only help them be stronger. See how that works?
So, why do weak men call women bitches?
Read MorePeople come wanting a solution to a train wreck of a marriage: Save our marriage and transform it into a truly GREAT relationship. "Certainly. That's what I'm here for and I love to help people do... Let's get cracking...". And then they proceed to tell me how it should be constructed based on myths, what they heard, opinions and preferences that are contrary to how healthy relationships actually function; in what ridiculously short time frame it should occur; with minimal to no actual study, practice and effort on their part because "really it shouldn't be this hard" nor "take this long." And then if they don't accomplish their goals in those parameters they quit therapy saying, "Well, we tried. Counseling just doesn't work." And they stay discouraged and stuck.
Read MoreDon't cheat. Duh!
Make a vow, keep a vow. Duh!
However, for those who are considering an affair, and are stupid enough to listen to consequence-free sounding "advice" like one popular cheating website promotes, "Life is too short: Have an affair.", let me offer this counter-advice:
"Life is too short: Be a man/woman — Live with honor."
Read MoreOver the past month my Seasonal Affective Disorder has gone into overdrive with the onset of winter and less sunlight every day. I experience it in different degrees every year. Some years I don't experience it at all. This year it's obnoxious in it's intensity. My chronic neck pain has returned and my head has hurt for 5 days in a row (thank goodness for Exedrin and Dr Pepper) not to mention wanting to sleep All. The. Time. and becoming a hermit. But there are things I do to keep myself above and on top of the depression
Read MoreA Hindu saint and his disciples were visiting the Ganges river, where they found a group of family members on the banks shouting in anger at each other. Turning to his disciples, the saint smiled and asked, 'Why do people in anger shout at each other?’
Read MoreThis is a "wedding dress" me and my roommate made out of my parents divorce papers. I'm sick of hearing how "I could never make a marriage work because I'm a child of a divorced couple." I don't want to hate marriage just because my parents didn't work out.
Read MoreFrom family, friends and clients I received these 11 dear gifts, very few of which were things...
Read MoreListen to this fascinating 13-minute clip from the RadioLab podcast "Stochasticity" (Season 6, Episode 1), which gives one of the best descriptions of how addiction hijacks our neurophysiology via the the powerful chemical dopamine, intermittent reinforcers (randomness), and how the brain seeks patterns and solutions
Read MoreFor years I've been teaching a popular workshop, "Building Strong Famlies with A-Triple-C-T-S." One of the things I talk about is appreciation and noticing "invisible work."
A friend posted this quote from Ray Bradbury, "You can't learn to write in college. It's a very bad place for writers because the teachers always think they know more than you do—and they don't. They have prejudices." She then asked, "True or false?" I replied as follows:
Read MoreSadly, too many children lack this, and it affects them profoundly. Please tell your children often that you love them and give them specifics as to why. They hang on to it years later in ways you may never know. There as some key loving things that my mother said to me as a child and teenager that have shaped the person I am today.
Read MoreIn 1967 Nobel Laureate Martin Luther King, Jr. nominated the Vietnamese Zen Buddhist monk and peace activist Thich Nhat Hanh (b.1926) for the Nobel Peace Prize. This photo shows laureate and nominee together and the text of Martin Luther King's nomination letter follows. These two men, along with Gandhi who greatly influenced MLK, Jr., have had a tremendous impact on my thinking, my work and my life. As a therapist and social activist, I have been speaking out against abuse, domestic violence and bullying and speaking for increasing peace through creating GREAT relationships my entire career i
Read Morewhen people ask me "What should I say?" to a friend or loved one grieving I assure them there's nothing you can say, and saying nothing is often WAY better than the lame attempts at comfort. Instead just be with them—don't talk much, just listen. Let them express what they need to say without "correcting" how they should feel or how they should look at the situation.
Read MoreI was outside today working on the car when my wife drove up returning from running errands. She got out and disbelievingly asked me, "Did you really say that?!" "Say what?" She then showed me my 16-year-old daughter's tweet:
Read MoreCreating GREATness in Relationships™ through 1. Marriage Mastery, 2. Parent Training, and 3. Self-Mastery.
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